For Readers, Writers and Assorted Others
Books are written by people who write. Without writers who persist, there would be no books.
For Poets and Aspiring Poets
Join Philip J Bradbury for an evening of song, poetry, and laughter as he takes us on a journey of poetic discovery. With over 30 years of experience, Philip will share his knowledge of poetry from inspiration to techniques, at the Beaudesert Library on 21st August - click here.
Advice for Writers and other aspirants
Never Quit
Kathryn Stockett’s The Help was rejected by 60 agents,
Lisa Genova's Still Alice was rejected by 100 agents,
Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveller’s Wife was rejected by 25 agents,
Marlon James’ debut novel, John Crow’s Devil, was rejected by 78 agents,
Stephen King’s debut novel, Carrie, was rejected by 30 publishers, and
Andy Weir’s first unnamed novel was rejected by every agent and publisher.
If Lisa Genoa had quit after 100 rejections and a year of trying to land an agent, there would be no Still Alice (or Still Alice film), and the next 7 books she wrote might not exist! Genoa self-published Still Alice in 2007, marketed the heck out of it, and landed a dream traditional publishing deal 2 years later. Still Alice was a New York Times bestseller.
If Marlon James hadn’t kept going after 78 agent rejections and published his first novel with a small publishing company, he never would have written and published the Booker prize-winning novel, and New York Times bestseller, A Brief History of Seven Killings.
If Andy Weir had quit after getting no traction with agents or publishers, and hadn’t then self-published The Martian, there would no The Martian novel or film, and no Project Hail Mary, or Artemis.
And if YOU quit, you will have robbed the world of the chance to enjoy your story.
An Olde Nursery Rhyme Revamped
With all the madness of leaders in every sphere of life, I wondered what could possibly be going on in the minds of these fevered and dysfunctional leaders. Here’s my current take on what it must feel like to be in the dysfunctional mind of some silly despot:
A MERRY OLD KING AM I
I’m a merry old soul and a merry old soul am I
I called for my bong
I called for my grog
And I called for my accountants three
But did they listen, the stupid deaf twits?
Did they, like as not, law-abiding irks!
They called in the cops
Who stole my bong and turps
Said it was illegal to have some fun
Even a king needs a break, a trip sometime
This public office thing, that I never volunteered for
Well, it’s a burden, see, a dead weight on my neck
Something you’d never understand, you gutless plebs
Like a moment of fun at a Cliff Richard concert
A fleeting thrill in a solemn fish-bowl of life
Something you toe-rag peasants don’t got the brains to know
You blood-sucking, screaming, adoring lower-brained lot
You ain’t got a bat’s chance to see my pain
Not one rock-headed one of you, I’ll wager
And the accountants, as I call them?
Some name them other names but who cares
A weed by any other name’s a weed, by heck
And … well … there’s bribes to be had, so why not?
You want a permit for a casino, brothel or pub?
Course there’s a cost, you squirming billionaire whiner
You man of wealth, harming the poor for gain
You’ll do your harm so, leastways, we reign
So, I’m Robin The Hood, from the wealthy to the …
Well … to me
And, my accountants, shovelling me money, commission for their …
Well, I called and none answered
Except that damned commission … I C A C[1] …
In Cahoots And Collusion, I bet it means
I See A Conspiracy … or, whatever it stands for
So, here they are, fussing, twittering and earnest
I agree with whatever and send them to lunch …
A banquet like they’ve never seen a’fore
And I pass a law quick-smart, outlawing them all
On their return, smiles and bellies full
They’re off to the gallows, the cops obliging for a few bucks
See, I’m the king and I can do that
And that’s why I’m a merry old soul
So, bring me my bong, grog and accountants three
I’ve got holiday and orgy to pay for
With a few judges, sergeants and reporters to attend
Ho, ho, ho what a merry lot we are![2]
[1] ICAC = The Australian Independent Commission Against Corruption.
[2] The Carindale Writers’ Group exercise was to take a passage that’s written in the 3rd person and rewrite it in the 1st person. Accordingly, I took a recognisable passage in the 3rd person and rewrote it in the 1st person. After all, why should a fellow follow ALL the rules, huh?
This poem is from Glass Soul, available as both an e-book and a paperback.